HELLO.

K I've been missing my blog uber much these few days, especially when the stress was building up and I couldn't rant it anywhere. So there, it's back, but I'm still on semi-hiatus .
Anyway I've done alot of thinking in the meantime, and I've been wondering why I've been torturing myself like this. Everytime I go on neopets I think I'm slacking, everytime I take 5 minutes off work to pig out I think I'm wasting time, and every second I spend with no pen in my hand I think I'm slacking.

This is not the Rachel I was and it is not the person I will allow myself to become. I DIDN'T USE TO BE LIKE THIS YOU KNOW. Studying is fruitless if you don't find joy in it. And I seriously was quite contented mugging like goodnessknowswhat in P6 because I found meaning in it. Now I don't know what I'm doing and I don't know who I am.
Without school and without seeing my friends, I'm kinda lost.
I think I'm insane o.O


So, yeah. Anyway.
Listen to this, it's really sweet. I'm downloading the movie on bittorrent now.
(And you all just did not see that sentence there.)


Alright. And I'm not giving excuses for putting back my blog or what lah.
'Cuz you know on Friday I ate three lunches (2 plates of 2 types of noodles and ingredients and 1 latte, 1 kickapoo and 2 ice-creams).
And on Sunday I ate 5 muesli bars and two bowls of almond paste (besides the normal meals)
And today I ate 3 buns and 1 bowl of almond paste right after lunch.

K just so you know I'm not usually so piggy. See I stress until like that. Yeah and I'm feeling hormonal again.
Chill, Rachel.
I remember what I said to my parents over dinner when they said I didn't need to be the top in a good school, that it was okay as long as I was average.
I said it didn't matter if I was the top or not, it just mattered that I wasn't average.
But now I think I must have been lying to myself.
I wanted to retain that 3.6 so badly.
I don't know how to slow down. I know I'm not slacking no matter what that silly Cheng Yee tells me :D hahaa. Last time yes, but not now.

chill, my darling.

"your voice was the soundtrack of my summer, don't you know you're unlike any other? Your eyes see the brightest of all the colours, you'll always be my thunder supreme."


RACHEL SLOW DOWN.
Ohkay I have to go sleep now because it's 2.25am.
And I'm going to study with the jubix people tomorrow heh.
Alright bye my loved blog.
Bye people (:

You can do it Rachel :D